


Trust

by echoelbo



Category: Persona | Revelations Persona
Genre: Agender Character, Alcoholism, Asexual Character, Child Abuse, Fluff, Gen, Kei's ace Brown's agender together they're aa, Other, Some events based on the manga, anrgy bean and anxious bean bond - the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 03:52:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12313227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoelbo/pseuds/echoelbo
Summary: Kei and Brown find that they trust each other more than they thought they ever could.





	1. Kei

"Don't trust strangers. All they want is your money, to spend on drugs and whores."

Kei hears this lecture often as a kid. He doesn't understand half of what his parents are saying, but he understands the gist.

People will use him.

He finds the lecture somewhat ironic, remembering them every time his father would drink too much and become violent, or when his mother would scream at a maid for undercooking their dinner. He doesn't mention it, though - he had questioned the logic once, and the scolding that followed was enough to keep him quiet for years after.

It's strange, how words can have that power.

So Kei stays silent near his parents, playing the role of the perfect and polite child.

* * *

He wonders if love exists.

Rather, he understands that love exists. He has seen couples holding hands, kissing, hugging tenderly.

He has also seen couples break up, screaming in fashions similar to how his parents argue daily.

He comes up with a theory - that love is temporary. It's a feeling that pulls people together, but as they begin to understand one another, love gives way to hatred.

It's simple, Kei thinks, tuning out his parents screams and politely thanking the server for filling his water glass, ignoring the way the servant's hand shakes.

Kei also wonders if he himself is capable of love. He knows only one person he's ever liked or trusted, and that person has been with him his entire life. He thinks about Yamaoka's smile, his encouraging words, the hand which had rubbed his back as he cried over the bruise his drunk father had painted on his arm.

So he comes up with a different theory - that there was a vast difference between loving and being in love.

With a simple pleasantry, he stands up, signaling the servant to clean up after him. He wonders if Yamaoka will have time to play cards with him that night.

* * *

His parents want him to go to an expensive school filled with children with smiles as fake as every guest who has ever entered his father's presence.

He refuses.

It takes eight grades to wear his parents down, but they allow him to choose his own school for his high school years.

So he chooses the worst school he can find.

He finds the results to be more than his average experience. Students constantly wear baggy or revealing clothes, talk with slurred accents he has never heard before, ball up quizzes and throw them at garbage cans.

It's like a zoo, and while Kei feels more than slightly revulsed, he decides he does not regret his choice.

The other students greet him with scowls and rude phrases completely opposite of the fake smiles he's used to. He scowls back, replying with scathing remarks that come all too naturally to him.

They back off quickly.

* * *

He hears laughter around him.

He ignores it. He hears flustered remarks from a boy who sounds so desperate to defend himself, followed by the laughter growing louder.

By the time the student next to him nudges him and points at the distressed boy, Kei's patience had worn thin. He looks up from his book and glares his classmates down, effectively silencing the entire room. He picks up his book and his bag, makes a remark about how pathetic they all were, and leaves.

He brushes past the boy, ignoring how his eyes are wide with fear and how he backs away from him.

* * *

He ends up with a friend group.

Or at least, that's what he assumes it would be called. He takes the time and effort to remember their names, so that must count for something.

And while he would be perfectly content to let them all boil alive, he chooses to sit by instead, working on homework as the rest of them make bets and jokes.

He finds it thrilling to be with the group. Every person in it was aggressively unique, letting their true selves shine through regardless of the conflicts that arose. It is a relief and a nice change of pace, and if his parents knew the type of company he kept, they would be incredibly disgusted.

So he keeps them close, like a drug addict who enjoys doing wrong.

* * *

He realizes too late that summoning his persona leaves him tired and weak.

With Mark fainted beside him, Brown cowering behind him, and far too many armed guards in front of him, Kei makes a choice.

The only logical choice.

He tells Brown to run.

Brown stares back at him, eyes wide as he tries to form some coherent thought and fails.

A guard aims at Brown and Kei barely moves quick enough to take the bullet, leaving a burning sensation in his shoulder. He grits his teeth as everything turns bright red for a split second before darkening, then slowly returning to normal.

This time, he yells at Brown to run. A moment of frightened noises passes before Brown screams, running away.

He does what he can to stall the guards, and as his vision fades and all he can feel is his body burning, he briefly thinks about how Brown couldn't even talk, much less crack a joke like he usually would.

It's a complete change in behavior, but Kei supposes it was natural.

* * *

He watches as the frightened boy summons a persona.

Nemhain is stunning. She wraps armored arms around Brown, embracing him as she heals the wound on his chest.

When the two are alone, guarding the others during a night shift, Kei asks Brown about why his persona is a goddess.

He sees Brown tense.

He says he never saw himself as a boy. Kei asks if he sees himself as a girl, and he shakes his head no. He says he's neither, though he's fine being referred to as both.

Kei notes the fidgeting and simply nods. Everyone is unique. That's a fact that Yamaoka always stressed, and every truth Yamaoka has taught him has been etched into his brain.

* * *

He finds that he trusts Brown.

The teen hovers near him whenever possible and freaks out at any injury Kei suffers. He tries to protect Kei. Kei protects him in return, though he prefers to do whatever he can to protect as many people as possible.

More so, though, Kei finds that Brown doesn't jump to conclusions. Kei chooses blunt truths over fake pleasantries every time, and while that causes others to think he's cold and unfeeling, he finds that Brown actively tries to understand him.

He even mediates at times, to properly explain what Kei means in less brutal terms. Kei doesn't mind - in fact, he appreciates how well Brown seems to understand him.

So he spends time and energy learning about what Brown likes, what his fears are, what his family is like.

He finds himself enjoying his night shifts more than he had expected, and he feels like Brown is the second real friend he's ever had.

* * *

He hates to be touched.

Brushes against him in hallways, shoves from people who think he is easy prey, hands on his shoulders from people trying to gain his favor.

He hates them all.

Though he also loves to be touched.

The way Yamaoka's hand would rub his back had always calmed him down, and he would sometimes even hug the man he wished was his father. Being able to lean against someone he loved was a luxury he never knew he had until it was taken from him.

It was a luxury he missed dearly.

Brown's arms are around him, holding him around the back as he buries his face into Kei's shoulder - and instead of pulling away, Kei leans into the touch, hugging him back tentatively.

Brown shakes with either laughter or sobs, and Kei isn't sure which. So he rubs Brown's back, tries to mimic Yamaoka's movements, and he feels Brown relax against him.

It's a luxury he has again, and this time he fears losing it.

So he puts his trust in Brown, against everything his parents had tried to teach him, and thinks about whether he genuinely loves Brown or is simply in love.

* * *

Brown visits him often.

Kei almost laughs the first time Brown visits and promptly throws himself onto Kei. He stumbles back, barely catching the excitable person, and Matsuoka panics and moves to pry Brown off.

Kei waves him off, a content smile as he formally greets Brown, placing a hand on his back. They sit down next to each other, shoulders touching and hands intertwined as they talk about their jobs, and Kei feels proud of his friend's achievements, how he brings smiles to so many people despite his crushing fear of being treated as a joke.

Brown is kind, energetic, and brave, and Kei leans against him, smiling.


	2. Brown

"Smiles have the power to bring happiness to those around you - so never forget to smile!"

Hidehiko hears his father say those words often. He knows them to be true, feeling his own heart grow giddy at the sight of others laughing. It's infectious, he realizes.

So he tries to smile more often.

He smiles at strangers, at classmates, at anyone who will even look at him. He smiles until it becomes a habit.

He smiles for his father too, after their mother leaves. His father cries in solitude, hoping that his child won't see him so weak. But Hidehiko doesn't think his father is weak. He thinks his father is hurt, more so than anything.

So Hidehiko smiles, so that his father can smile as well.

* * *

He wonders if love exists.

He listens to his father's muffled sobs and thinks that it does, though perhaps love doesn't end as happily as others insist. Maybe love is messy, and not in an enjoyable way.

Or maybe love doesn't exist.

Maybe people think they're in love, only to realize that they didn't know their partners at all.

Hidehiko knows he loves, though. He loves too easily - he loves his father for supporting him, he loves his neighbors for sneaking him cookies, he loves his classmates for playing with him.

He wonders what love even is.

* * *

He makes a mistake.

And he learns just how quickly people turn on each other.

He's the laughing stock of the class in an instant, kids chanting "Brown! Brown! Brown!" at him until he runs out of the classroom. He runs home, past his startled father, and changes out of his soiled pants and boxers the first chance he gets.

He takes a shower to clean himself off.

He ends up on the floor of the shower, shaking and legs drawn up.

He hears his dad knock, but he doesn't answer. He keeps sitting and shaking, thoughts passing through his head, far too loud for him to shut out.

* * *

He calls himself Brown.

He comes in with a smile the next day, one that tears at his cheeks and burns. His classmates ask if he's alright, and he brushes them off with jokes and laughter.

He calls himself Brown, claims the name as his own in hopes that it can't hurt him anymore.

His classmates laugh at his jokes, happy to see the boy smiling again and wearing smiles of their own.

He smiles, ignoring the tears threatening to burn his eyes.

* * *

He doesn't forget.

He thinks about that day much more than he had hoped. It follows him, emerging through every laugh he hears nearby and every smile thrown his way.

He finds it hard to trust others anymore.

So he makes everyone laugh, forces people to laugh with him instead of at him. The control puts him at ease more than hiding away does.

* * *

He enjoys intimacy.

He had always played around with himself, used the incognito mode on his father's computer to look up stuff a fifteen year old shouldn't.

But he enjoys the intimacy of others, and he finds that he knows more about safe sex than most people his age.

People are beautiful, and while he's certain it isn't love or passion that drives him, he still enjoys being able to push his thoughts aside in favor of simply feeling.

* * *

He thrives in high school.

Everyone is so beautiful, and he finds it easy to bring out smiles in each and every person.

There's a boy in his class, one that never smiles. He's arrogant and angry, and if Brown is completely honest, he's terrified of the boy.

He also knows the boy is rich, and he fears that one misstep will lead to him being arrested.

Money could do that, right?

Brown doesn't know - he's never known anyone with much money, much less anyone who was drowning in it.

So Brown doesn't try to make the boy laugh.

* * *

He makes another mistake.

This one is much lighter, but he's left flustered in front of some classmates who lingered after the bell.

He tries to defend himself. His classmates talk over him, mocking him even more as their laughter grows.

He bites his tongue, trying not to show how he's shaking and about to cry.

Crying means weakness, after all.

One of the classmates nudges the rich boy and points at Brown, and Brown freezes on the spot. He imagines a wicked smile, for the boy to somehow make him the laughing stock of the entire world.

Money could do that, right??

The last thing Brown expects is the death glare the boy shoots everyone there. Brown pales, his body completely stiff as the boy closes his book and gets up.

He states, with utmost confidence, that the entire class is pathetic. He brushes past Brown, the touch feeling like fire.

Brown steps back, giving the boy the space to leave, and feels both complete fear and awe at how effectively he shut down the entire class.

And he feels relieved, that his mistake has now been forgotten in favor of the others muttering about the "rich brat."

* * *

He ends up with a friend group.

Rather, that's what he chooses to call it. The group meets regularly, each member opinionated and loud, and Brown joins for the sake of feeling included.

He learns that the rich boy is named Kei Nanjo.

He learns that Kei Nanjo never smiles.

He feels slightly more comfortable around Kei, now that he has seen him interact with others. He never smiles or laughs, but he does have a sharp tongue and scathing words for whoever challenges him.

In a way, Brown finds it relaxing. No matter what he says or does, Kei never shows any sign of amusement. His constant sneer is terrifying in its own right, but Brown can live with it.

It's much better than being laughed at.

* * *

He watches, confused, as Kei stumbles.

He reaches for the boy's back, his hand hovering a moment before he hears a strained voice tell him to run.

He doesn't run. His body feels glued to the floor, and he stares at the boy.

His thoughts freeze for a moment, put on hold as a single thought surfaces.

That Kei wants him to run.

That Kei is in no position to run.

That Kei likely means to use himself as a decoy so that Brown can escape.

His throat goes dry and breathing becomes harder.

A loud gunshot brings him out of his trance, and he hears Kei yell at him, the command to run echoing against the walls.

He hears the words.

He sees blood drip down Kei's shoulder.

He stares.

He stares.

He stares.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He screams.

Thoughts come crashing into his mind all at once as he turns and runs, runs as fast as he can. He runs well past his legs turn into jelly and the pain in his body feels miles away.

He thinks of blood.

He trips and falls, too tired to get back up.

He breaks down on an empty sidewalk, curling up against a wall and sobbing.

* * *

He summons a persona.

He feels her arms embrace him as the gaping hole in his chest seals itself, and he stares, eyes wide.

His eyes are cloudy and everything is blurred, but he turns to Kei.

He smiles, lopsided and proud and scared, yet still alive.

Kei asks him about his persona later, on a night shift, and Brown tenses.

He knows full well why his persona is a goddess. He has never felt conflicted about his gender, but he's always known there was more to it. He knows others knowing would likely change how they treat him, though, and he doesn't want that.

He looks at the neutral and analytical eyes staring at him, and he spills.

He doesn't mean to, but he tells Kei that he isn't a boy - a truth. Kei asks if he's a girl instead, and all he can do is shake his head.

His hands tremble - he wants nothing to change, but the desire to be understood is burning in his veins.

Kei looks thoughtful for a moment before nodding, not one ounce of judgment in his expression.

Brown nearly cries.

* * *

He trusts Kei.

He's seen how the boy tries to protect those around him, despite any (non-monetary) cost to himself. He reasons things out and tries to find the best solution for every situation.

Brown doesn't miss the way Kei fidgets with the broken glasses he keeps tucked in his shirt pocket, either.

He learns about Yamaoka during their night shifts, about how Kei's family is a mess and just how lonely the boy is.

So Brown stays closer to him, putting his all into repaying the bullet Kei took.

He's unsure if Kei even remembers taking a bullet for him. The kid steps so naturally into danger. He's a good leader, Brown thinks, the type to support everyone under his watch.

Brown admires him. He admires the kindness and the courage, and where he used to think Kei was cold and uncaring, he realizes that Kei's just awful at explaining himself. He tries to mediate, and Kei doesn't seem to mind, as long as the concept gets across.

* * *

He loves touch.

In all his time sleeping around and kissing, he has always found touch to be a thing that calms him. He's used to body intimacy.

What he isn't used to is being drawn to an angry and unapproachable boy.

He hugs Kei without thinking, glad to have peace back in their lives. He buries his face in Kei's shoulder.

He realizes too late that Kei would probably push him away, and he tenses.

Instead, he feels arms wrap hesitantly around him. He feels shock, but as the hand starts rubbing circles into his back, he starts laughing, tears prickling at his eyes.

He loves touch, but he thinks he loves Kei more.

* * *

He approaches the penthouse, his body buzzing with energy.

Things had finally settled down in Sumaru city, and upon learning that all of his old friends were there as well, Brown had decided to track down his favorite person.

He had to wait until after his show, after making even the camera men laugh, but he feels lighter than he has in months.

Even as he approaches the extravagant hotel, even as he feels like he doesn't belong, he still feels light. He greets the guards and they let him in quickly after getting his name, and it would take more self restraint than Brown has not to run directly to the man in the room.

And so he does.

And he tackles the man, the man who looks so beautiful in his element.

And he buries his face into Kei's shoulder again.

And his fear melts as he feels a hand rub his back.

And he smiles, this time for himself.


End file.
